What the Freeze and Fawn Response Look Like and What To Do About Them

Trauma can impact people in different ways. The way that your body responds to trauma can depend on several different factors, like the trauma that occurred, experiences you grew up with, your attachment style, and genetics, just to name a few. While the fight or flight responses are a bit more well-known, four common trauma responses can occur. The body typically responds to trauma in one of four ways: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.

Let’s take a deeper look at the body’s responses to trauma, especially the lesser known trauma responses: the freeze and fawn response, but first, we’ll review fight and flight responses.

The Fight and Flight Responses

The two most known types of response to trauma are the fight and flight responses. The fight response is when the body goes into defense mode in order to protect itself against any perceived threats or conflict. The main idea behind the fight response is to eliminate the perceived threat before it eliminates you.

If you have a history of childhood trauma, the fight response can also show up as a part of us that is angry, judgmental, self-destructive, and wants to be in control.

The flight response is a type of response that occurs when the body tries to defend itself by fleeing the scene. This coping technique is done by running from the problem or the perceived threat because it’s safer than dealing with it head-on. The flight response occurs when the brain decides the safest route is to get as far as you can away from the problem before it can hurt you.

If you have a history of childhood trauma, the flight response can also show up as wanting to escape, having trouble committing, using alcohol or substances, or restrictive or emotional eating.

The Freeze Response

The third type of trauma response that could occur is the freeze response. This type of response means you freeze, space out, or disconnect when faced with a perceived threat. In this type of response, the body and brain tend to become frozen in place by the stress. The idea behind this type of trauma response is that nothing can hurt you if you don’t do anything about the perceived threat.

These are some of the most common experiences that are associated with the freeze response:

• Changes in heart rate

• Cold

• Dread

• Feeling stuck

• Frozen

• Heaviness

• Numb

• Pale

• Pounding heart

• Restricted breathing

• Stiffness

  If you have a history of childhood trauma, freeze can also show up as a fear of being seen by others, anxiety, phobias, and panic attacks.

  How Do You Break a Freeze Response?

  First and foremost, always work toward having compassion for yourself when you experience freeze (or any of the trauma responses), they happen in the brain in split seconds and are out of your control. And as with anything, awareness is the first step in changing or responding to something differently.

  One technique for coming out of a freeze is to slowly look around the room (like tortoise slow), noticing objects in your environment, and looking behind you as well. This reminds your nervous system that you are safe.

  Movement can also be super helpful. Literally standing up, walking across the room, stomping your feet or shaking your body can help you come out of a freeze. Another technique to try is heel dropping: lift up your heels, let them drop down, notice what you feel in your body, and repeat five times. You can also start small and lightly pat your arms, torso, and legs and notice what happens.

  I learned the heel drop from Crystal the Oracle’s Capacity: Nourish the Nervous System Course, which is a huge compilation of somatic nervous system resources that I’d highly recommend. Please know it is normal to feel anxious, heated, or have tension in the body when coming out of a freeze response. This is also why movement is recommended!

  The Fawn Response

  The last type of trauma response is the fawn response. While this is one of the least known responses of the four trauma responses, it’s still one of the ways that the body and brain work to defend and protect themselves. The idea behind the fawn response is that if they can make the attacker or abuser happy or satisfied, they won’t harm them. The fawn response often develops in childhood with children needing to make their caregivers happy or comfortable to get their physical and emotional needs met because it’s the only way to survive. Then these children often grow up to become people pleasing adults.

  People who often respond with fawning may have grown up with parents who were anxious, depressed, alcoholics, or addicts, lived with a mother or father who had explosive anger, were physically, sexually, and/or emotionally abused, grew up not knowing they were autistic, or had ADHD. Those who tend to be people pleasers, have a difficult time saying no, or are fearful of telling people how they really feel or think about certain situations. The fawn response also shows up as putting other people’s needs before their own. These are some of the most common behaviors that are associated with the fawn response:

  • Apologizing and over-apologizing

  • Flattery

  • Inability to say “no”

  • Pleasing others

  • Putting others before themselves

  • Not knowing what you prefer

  How Do You Heal the Fawn Response?

  As mentioned with the freeze response, please be gentle with yourself, your nervous system is just trying to keep you safe.

  If you’re someone that says yes anytime you’re asked to do something, start noticing what happens when you are asked to do something. What do you feel in your body? Is there tension in the chest or stomach? What are you thinking? Is there a thought that no one else will do this unless you do? Is there a thought or feeling that you might get in trouble if you say no? Once you develop some awareness of how your fawn response shows up, see if you can allow a pause before you answer someone, saying something like, let me think about that and get back to you.

  You could also check out what no’s and yes’s feel like in your body. Think of something you were asked to do that was a hell yes and notice how your body responds, you may be able to breathe more easily or you might feel a happy flutter in your chest or stomach. Then think of something you were asked to do that was an easy no or you knew that you didn’t want to do it. Again notice what you feel in the body, you may notice your fists clenching, tension in the stomach, or a sensation in the throat. If you’d like to hear another perspective on the 4 F’s and navigating trauma, check out Luis Mojica’s podcast Holistic Life Navigation.

  If you find yourself fawning due to ADHD or autism, it can be helpful to learn about ableism and how you’ve masked yourself to fit in with neurotypical norms. I highly recommend reading Unmasking Autism and Laziness Does Not Exist by Dr. Devon Price to learn more. You can also read Devon’s work for free here or follow Devon on Instagram. It can also be immensely helpful to find community with other neurodivergent people.

  When to Seek Help

  Sometimes you need more than self-help tips to understand how the 4 F’s show up for you and how to get unstuck from triggered trauma responses. When you are struggling at work, in your relationships, or feeling like your trauma responses are controlling you, you may want to consider Trauma therapy. It can be especially helpful for processing the trauma that causes those triggers and it can be a place to practice learning how to deal with trauma responses, especially fawning. One of the most healing things I’ve found for my own fawn response is being able to feel frustration toward my therapist when she gets something wrong and for her to hold space for that and not get upset with me. If you’d like to work with me or learn more about my approach, you can schedule a free consultation here.